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Fire Drill: The Musical

Last week, the library my wife works at conducted a fire drill.  I've always enjoyed fire drills, so I was a little jealous.  In elementary school, I'd clap my hands with glee to the loud noises and flashing lights.  Not much has changed.

 But when I found out that someone actually got to play the part of the fire itself, my imagination ran with it.  At the libraray, someone stands holding a sign bedecked with illustrated flames that reads, "FIRE."  In my mind, it became a pageant with The Fire playing the lead role.  He danced and sang, the actor's glorious and brightly colored costume outshining the firemen's own yellow and red. 

I mean, it couldn't be anything less than a Broadway musical, could it?   

Oh yes, I think Fire would

Oh yes, I think Fire would be flaming and an excellent tap-dancer. I'm thinking something in the vein of the "Once More, with Feeling" episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Lots and lots of lamé and sequins.

Hmm. I think the person

Hmm. I think the person playing The Fire should be allowed to kill one library employee. You know, just to prove that fire ain't no joke.

Or maybe a library patron,

Or maybe a library patron, so they don't have to train someone new. They could mention the possibility in the fine print when you sign up for a library card.